My very own theory on where the hell most of the matter in the universe is.

Ok so it might be based on a somewhat simplistic set of arguments but lets face it I bummed out on the A-level physics through a combination of drink, women and computer games. Damn this education system to only getting interesting when you are at your weakest. So here it is and it’s based on the following:
  1. No-one really knows what the process was when the big bang went bang in a big way. All we know is that all of a sudden there was a lot of stuff (including us and everything we can see or detect with instruments) and it was all flying away from a certain point.
  2. Stuff that is flying away isn’t slowing down and doesn’t look like it will collapse in on itself. In fact it appears to be speeding up.
  3. Most of the matter in the universe is missing. Or undetectable with current tech.
  4. Positive things and negative things attract.
Ok so here it is, I’ll get Prof Brian Cox to shoot it down in flames later. Well I won’t but I’ll give it a go.
Davey’s Theory of the Big Bang
So when the big bang happened who is to say that the first type of ‘stuff’ that it spewed forth wasn’t anti-matter. Anti atoms of all the good old stuff we’ve come to know love and be made from. This anti-stuff went shooting off into the void of space (was it space with absolutely nothing in or was it space-max? I suppose it was space and we now have space-lite, the weak version with stuff in it). So the next thing that happened is that the creative process that was the big bang then started to spew matter. This would have largely disappeared by hitting the anti-matter that was also being created. Until more and more matter was created to make up for the over balance of anti-matter that was first created. Now we would be left with an ever expanding sphere of anti-matter. Behind which there would be something that was a predominantly a void where the matter and anti-matter output was more of less equal. Followed by our good old matter (e.g. the universe we know and love).
Maybe an easier way of putting it is that the big bang was like turning on a mixer tap where you happen to have the a lazy boiler. The first water out is cold (anti-matter) the water then goes warm (unfortunatly matter and anti-matter don’t like this mix) then you run out of cold water (yes strange heating system I know) and only get hot (matter).
So who is to say this happened. No-one really but it would explain the following.
  1. Why we can’t find the anti matter. There is a huge void and then a ton of anti-matter. It’s a long way ahead of us.
  2. Why the universe is speeding up. It’s getting sucked along and out negatively charged universe if being drawn by a positively one.
  3. Would neatly encapsulate us in a bubble of stuff we could never get beyond as it’s not currently deemed a good idea to mix yourself with your anti-self. Think crossing the beams in Ghostbusters without the help of a marshmallow man.
Ok so 3 really isn’t a reason but it nicely covers the first two.
So people please shoot this down and point out the holes otherwise I’ll forever be going on about Davey’s Theory of the Big Bang.

Meeting Minutes 1 : Cowboy and aliens

Doug: Welcome all to the initial ideas meeting for our new film Cowboys and Aliens. As you all know from the email all we have at the moment is a title. Let’s start off with some introductions!”

Attendees: Murmuring

Doug: Ok, no-one wants to go first. So let’s go around the room to the left.

Kath: Hi, I’m Kath *****. I’ve worked as an ‘ideas’ person on many films.

Doug: I didn’t know people still did that finger thing! Care to name drop?

Kath: No, not right now.

John:  Hello, John ***** here, some of you have probably seen my out of the box thinking on many cherished films.  I do care to name drop by the way. You can thank me for that excellent scene in Indian Jones and Crystal Skull where a young fresh son of Indy fights with his sword against German dominatrix.

Kath: Wasn’t she Russian in the film?

John: Exactly, that was another one of mine. Why pick on the Germans I said. Let’s spread it around, they’re all communists anyway. It’s not like we always use Brits as double crossing evil bastards!

Kath: I’m fairly sure there was one of those as well!

Doug: Ok guys enough of this. Let’s get this session underway. Right so the title, it’s young and dynamic and let’s face it after the success True Grit and the on-going interest in any kind of alien invasion we are onto a winner already. I’m throwing this open to you get the ideas flowing? We can sort out how to stich these memory gems together into a pair of diamond socks later.

Kath: Ok so I’m feeling the cowboy thing. You know what cowboys says to me? It says gun fights. Let’s have lots of gun fights. I once saw this film that had this guy in it. I can’t remember what the character’s name was but he didn’t say much, just like totally had screen presence and was a bad ass. We need that guy.

Doug: Lee van Cleef is no longer with us Kath.

John: No she means Bruce Willis. You do don’t you Kath, because I was thinking the same thing. He was in that film where is rode into the wild west and then played two sides of a small town off against each other in order to get the green. Such an original idea. I’d love to say it was one of mine. I don’t understand why he didn’t use his “yippee ki yay” catch phrase in it though.

Kath: Wasn’t there cars in that film? It’s not a western if you have a car. Westerns need horses, horses and at least one lovable dog. I’ve done research into this and it’s been a long time since Lassie. These things come around don’t you know.

John: Yeah, I like it. Let’s put a dog in it. People really connect with dogs. It’s like dog acting is almost the same as the dog actually BEING a dog. We have to add some form of jeopardy for the dog role. That really pulls on the heart strings. We’d also need to cast a really good actor in that role. I can highly recommend Andy Serkis. Not only was he great as the Hobbit in lord of the rings he also totally ruled as King Kong.

Kath: He can do really funny voices as well. If we need that dog to talk he’s totally the guy for us.

Doug: Ok so, we’ve got cowboys, yeh it’s like in the title. Gun fights, horses and a dog. What else do you always get in cowboy flicks?

Kath: Jail. There is always someone either going to jail or busting out of jail, we need a jail. Oh and Saloon. With the flippy doors. We need one of them.

Doug: Ok good. Now we are getting somewhere. I can picture it. It sounds solid. How can we add a little twist to this though?

John: You guys are so lucky I’m here. Listen to this. We add another character. The guy who owns the town and everyone in it. To top it off we add a little father and son side story. Everyone can relate to having a father and nearly all parents can relate to having a son.

Kath: What about girls?

John: Yeah they can relate to having a son as well if they want. It’s all kinds of good and totally will add some depth and texture to the film.

Doug: Right so we’ve got the cowboy part steaming along. Let’s get this on paper, go grab a cup of coffee and resume after that. Oh by the way, to get you all into the right mind scene we’ve put up a little camp fire and will be brewing the coffee on that. There may also be grits but to be honest I’m not sure what they are or even if you can drink them.